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February 22nd, 2015

2/24/2015

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Every week I have the amazing privilege of hosting the Sacred Chambers in my home. Every week I lead a contemplation in Chamber 1 designed to journey within, with a bright flashlight of Awareness, to see all of the clutter we have accumulated in our 'heartspace' which weighs us down and casts a shadow over our inner Light. And every week I get to go on my own inner journey to see my own clutter and baggage, because everything I know and everything I talk about comes from my own direct experience. The point of the exercise is to see what's there-not to judge it but to see deeply and fearlessly; to look in the dark corners, because to see is to be free! In fact, it's just as the quantum physicists have discovered: the act of observation alters that which is observed. Discomfort and resistance begin to loosen and dissolve, not through any effort on our part other than focused observation; by staying with the 'what is', whatever that 'is'...by feeling the physical sensations in our body that arise as we look at our hurts and guilt and shame and fear, they start to fade. 

There are two tricks though; the first being a paradox of sorts. If you undertake this 'seeing' to change what is seen, you aren't actually staying with the 'what is'. You are only superficially engaged while your real agenda is getting past the unpleasant 'what is' to something nicer. You haven't jumped in with both feet, but rather you are dipping a toe, hoping to be fully cleansed. You have to go all the way into your discomfort if you ever want to get through it; you have to be a spiritual warrior literally willing to die, because in the transformation that happens there is indeed a death: the death of pain and suffering. Most of us are very skilled at tickling the surface of our discomfort; we may even sit and feel miserable and sorry for ourselves for hours, days, weeks, even years, and we constantly complain that this transformation business doesn't work. If you are still miserable, you didn't find the bottom - go back and try again. Pray for guidance. Pray for assistance. You'll know it when you see it because in an instant, tears and frustration erupt into pure Joy.

The second trick is that YOU can't actually transform anything; if you could, you would have done it already, right? Your job in all inner work is to see. That's it. Like holding the flashlight of awareness on all the scariest monsters you can imagine....hands shaking, knees weak and totally helpless. But with light, especially a bright light, you will begin to see that the things you are most afraid of are silly, or pointless. You begin to realize how things from the past steal away your present; how your anger or hurt or sadness from a relationship that ended badly is now sabotaging your current relationships. How your fears prevent you from living the life your soul craves. When you really 'see', transformation happens. It is a gift...a happening. Like falling in love, YOU can't make it happen, it finds you when the environment is ripe. You can't make yourself fall in love with someone, but you can be aware of your blocks to love. As you see these things they shift and you have more room in your Heart for love to arrive.

The best pointer in my life has been: 'It is never EVER about the other person.' Any hard, hurtful or uncomfortable relationship in your life is about YOU. Nobody put the discomfort in you; it was already there, waiting to be seen and healed. So dare to look. Bravely go where your awareness has never gone before. To see is to be free.....

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Death and Taxes...

2/21/2015

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In the West we seem to have a very difficult relationship with death. Notwithstanding its prevalence in popular media, from the nightly news, to all the most acclaimed TV shows and movies, we don't generally like to face it; at least not in a real, personal way. Just think about how awkward it can be when you see someone shortly after they have lost a loved one - do you bring it up and risk reminding them of their sadness (as if they ever forget).  Or how awkward people are around you in that situation. Or how we generally resort to the "It will be okay; you can beat this" comment when meeting friends and loved ones with terminal illnesses, rather than having a real conversation about how little time they may still have on this plane of existence. But, as the Buddhists say, until you truly face the inevitability of your death, you can never really start living. So why are we so uncomfortable with such a ubiquitous subject? It's like we pretend it won't happen to us, or to our loved ones, and when it does we are so devastated, almost surprised, like death snuck past our vigilant veneer of denial and cheated us of the long, healthy life we deserve!

And yet, death is every bit as crucial to life as birth; it is an essential part of nature; an essential part of OUR nature. Bhagavan has a great quote on death: 

The presence of death casts a shadow on every moment of life. Every wrinkle on your skin, every strand of greying hair, and every strained conversation, reminds you of death. Death of what? A dream? It reminds you of the frightening possibility of a relationship that could end; a position that may dissolve; or a security that might be disturbed. But, can you separate death from life? Is there not an arising in every moment of ceasing? The beauty of life is its constant companionship with death. It is in the Oneness of life and death that the beauty of the Universe unfolds. When all divisions suggesting the outside and the inside, the here and the hereafter, the material and the spiritual, existence and nonexistence, cease; an experience with the eternal becomes possible. Let us look into the process of the death of the body. Most people fear the symptoms and conditions accompanying death, not death itself. How could you fear that you have never known? Death is an experience of freedom.


If you look deeply into just about any fear that plagues your life, it is ultimately the fear of death; death of the small 's' self. Look at the fear of public speaking...a very common and powerful fear. In fact when surveyed, most people would rather run into a burning house than give a speech. How can this fear be so strong? Because you will be on display; people will see you, and they will judge you (sort of like how you judge others, most of the time). If you make a mistake, they may find you wanting, unworthy of their attention and friendship, and love. You would be unlovable and if unlovable, you are pretty much worthless, pointless, as you fall down this pit of despair...all the way to the annihilation of YOU. So, you resist making that speech. You decide to avoid that party. In effect, you barely show up in life because you are afraid of being vulnerable, because if you are vulnerable, you may get hurt. And yet within you is the most beautiful Light; the most amazing Presence. There is, at your core, Pure Love. Its what you came from, it is what you are, and it is what you will return to. But that Light and Love is shadowed by your fears, all of which boil down to our fear of death, at least the fear of our psychological death, or the death of the self, which is ironic because if you are reading this, you are a seeker on a journey to discover your highest, truest Self, and yet you can only arrive there when you die to the small 's' self. That is the very essence of Self-realization; of Enlightenment.

Each one of us has a completely unique path through life, marked by a vast array of experiences, challenges and relationships. Every single one of us will die, at least our bodies will die. Some will die young and some will die old; some will die peacefully and some will die violently. Some will die at their own hand and some will die at the hand of another. In every case, that death, in whatever form it takes, is an integral part of our journey through life. It is critical to our learning and healing, and it is equally important in the unfolding of life for every other person we are in relationship with. Some would even say that our time and means of death is written before our birth! Imagine that for a moment....a Divine contract conceived in Heaven where all agree on the exact moment and method of death. Ultimately we can't know the gift that death brings until we pass through that door, but we CAN see how our fear of death, both physical and psychological, holds us back in life. As you see that and feel it deeply....every moment of every day, you will surrender more and more to death, and in that, you will also surrender more and more to life...




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